Oh my....

How my writing has waned. Yuck. I can't do that again, where I take a break until literally the next year.

I'm unhappy today, and I don't really know why. It's not that I'm terribly unhappy...just a bit morose, gloomy, etc. Maybe it's the dreariness of the day. I think it's a combination of things. One of the biggest things I can pinpoint is my job. It's tiring, it is wearing me out. I don't feel like I get to really spend quality time with my patients anymore because we've become short staffed and, thus, busier. Management is also an issue. The director of our unit is very out of touch with what it's like to be a floor nurse, and our assistant director is very selfish. I don't feel like going into detail about either one of them. Suffice it to say that they don't do a lot for employee satisfaction on our unit.

I also long for a normal schedule again. I miss having eight hour days. I miss not having to work on weekends and holidays. I like the structure of the Monday-Friday routine, as mundane as that is for some.

So, I'm at a crossroads and I'm not sure what to do about it. I have filled out an internal job switch form for an outpatient surgery center at the hospital, which I plan on turning in today. I figure it can't hurt to see what else is available. A few of us on the unit are going to be trying an 8hour/day schedule coming up soon, though, so I may stick around to see how that goes. That would still have me working various weekends and holidays, though.

Oh, internal dilemmas.

On a happier note, I finished reading Wuthering Heights, which is an excellent novel, and I will be enjoying a lively discussion about it with my mom and sister soon. I also have started two new books, one of which is Primary Colors by Anonymous, and the other is Arts and Ideas by William Fleming. Both are very interesting at this point.

I started flute lessons last night and got through the scale going from B natural down to low C. That low C was a tough one to conquer, because you really have to control your breath well for the lower notes with the flute. The teacher and I were both proud of my progress and I was excited that I picked the notes back up so quickly. So, from here on out, it should only get better!

I think everyone who would read this would know by now, but just in case...Jason and I moved into our new apartment in December and we're loving it. Living with him is so easy and natural, just like the rest of our relationship. I love love love him.


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