Can I get a WTF?

Today was going well at work until about 5pm when I got an admission (who on top of all the admission crap also needed vitals done every 15 minutes, which of course didn't end up happening) and my other patient came back from a cardiac catheterization procedure (also requiring vitals every 15 minutes). On top of those two things, I had another patient getting meds through a PEG (i.e., intestinal) tube, which means I have to crush them up and flush them through, requiring more than the normal amount of time it usually takes to give meds. At that point, my time management skills seemed to fly out the window and into oblivion in outer space. I can't totally blame my patient load, though, because many other nurses have four or five patients. I only had three today. However, most of the other nurses I work with have been there for at least a year or sometimes many more, and I have been working with my preceptor for what, 6 weeks? That isn't that long, but I still wish my time management skills were better. I actually spoke aloud to whatever gods exist in the universe tonight on the way home, begging for some wisdom in learning how to manage my time so I'm not going crazy and getting out of work at 8:30pm.

Then, I get to Jason's (he lives 15 minutes from my job so I usually spend the night there before I work, and he actually loves it when I'm there), and he suggests that HE go out and get us some Pad Thai for dinner. He could tell how exhausted, both mentally and physically, I was and told me to stay here and relax and he would get everything taken care of. I am continuously and pleasantly surprised by how wonderful of a person he is. He does stuff like this for me at least once a week (whether I'm tired or not). I am so thankful I met him!!

Anyway, I'm going to talk to my preceptor tomorrow and get her advice on how I can improve and any suggestions she may have. As you can probably tell, tonight ended up being really discouraging for me. It'll get better; I just have to keep working hard and learning by experience.

Picture Post!

Here's some stuff I've been doing lately with the old shutterbuggery:

Of thanks and gratitude...among other things.

The two incense sticks burning in my apartment right now smell incredible. Earthy, like a mixture of fine powder and flowers, with a little cedar in the background. I should have a second career inventing advertising descriptions.

I took a really hot (in degrees, like Fahrenheit or Celsius) bath this afternoon and started reading the Time Traveler's wife (again). It's superb so far. And so was the bath, with the spearamint eucalyptus bath bubbles.

I love my green tea that I'm currently drinking, because it tastes so good and is very healthy for you. I also especially like it today because it's gloomy-looking and a bit chilly outside today. I feel like Fall has snuck back in by some extraordinary time force this week.

I love science. Things like chemistry help us to understand little miniscule things in life, like why a spaghetti noodle changes texture, shape and even size when you place it in boiling water. Things like biology help us to understand why putting yourself in a bed of UV lights to try and be tan during wintertime is a horrid thing to do to yourself.

I'm going to have pasta and regular, classic marinara sauce tonight for dinner. On my deathbed, I want a huge vat of pasta and marinara sauce to eat. That or gnoccis. Or both.

I'm going to lay on the couch and read all night. Ahhh.

Peanut butter banana gelato is...well, amazing.

It tastes literally like you would expect a banana dipped in peanut butter to taste. Mmmmmmmm.

So nothing much is new, yet I feel the need to post here so that all of you continue to be aware of my existence. I'm still loving my job at the hospital and enjoying my new budding relationship with Jason...not sure if I like the term "budding"; it sounds like something that happens to a 13 year-old pubescent female. Anyway, he's a wonderful guy and I'm very pleased with how things are going thus far.

I had an argument with my mother yesterday about the current profile picture I have up on Facebook. She says it is "highly offensive," and I say it is a joke. I found it amazing that we even argued about it. She wanted me to take it down because "What if people who see your Facebook page are bothered by it?" Well, they can choose to navigate AWAY from my page, then, or just choose to not be as sensitive. I'm not telling you what your religious/spiritual beliefs ought or ought not to be. I wouldn't be at all offended at a comical display poking fun at mine or anyone else's sprituality. I really can't relate to insecurity on that level. I wish people would take issues like health care and the environment as seriously as they do their man-made religions.

Anyway, suffice it to say that I believe my mother to be quite an insecure person in many ways, though she does possess many redeeming qualities. It's just tough to relate to her sometimes. Most often, we are different people and perceive the world from opposing points of view.

To be more positive, I'm going to donate blood today. You should, too, if you're able. It literally saves lives.

I've been taking pictures but need to upload them; also on today's to-do list. I'll post a couple when I get them on this piece of shit I enjoy calling my computer.

Anyone want to go on a camping trip? Jason and I want to get a group of people together!

Pistachio gelato is celestial.

It is SO good, in fact, that I'm still thinking about it after having eaten it on Sunday. I'll have to make Jason take me back there again for more. Things are going terrifically between us, he's really an amazing person.

Anyway, enough of that mooshy bullshit. My last two days at the hospital taking care of three patients were GREAT. I felt so confident, cool and collected this time. It convinces me that last Monday (the day when Hell came full force to the 6th floor of Virginia Hospital Center) was simply a bad day--for EVERYONE. I think I may have over-stretched a couple muscles in my back, though, because yesterday I basically had to support this little old lady's entire body weight to help her from the bed to the chair or to the bedside commode. Oh well, if it means she's a little more independent because of it, I'll do my best to help her out.

Other than that, I have more pictures I've taken recently that I haven't uploaded yet. The sun is shining today, the sky is blue-- beautiful! I can't wait for spring to arrive.

I had dinner with my dad last night at Luciano's. Per the usual, I got gnoccis with marinara sauce, which was obviously delicious. I love Italian food, plain and simple. It truly is wonderful that you can take four or five ingredients and make loads of great dishes with them. We had a really unexpected, yet special experience as a result of where we sat. We overheard this woman talking with her mother, and apparently it was her 92nd birthday! The cool thing about this is that her mother doesn't look more than 80 years old and is sharp as a tack, to use a cliche phrase. So we all clapped for her being such a terrific-looking 92 year-old, and the couple next to their table gave them concert tickets (he's in an orchestra) for free. Then, another couple next to OUR table secretly paid their bill on the way out. I wish I could have taken a picture of the smile that went across that woman and her daughter's faces. She had an awesome birthday at a little Italian restaurant in Oakton, VA.
Stuff like that renews my hope that humans really do have the capability of being wonderful and loving towards one another.

Some of these are out of order, but if you use your brain, you can figure it out.

A pretty sunset at my parents' house.



This was from the last big snow back in early Feb. The snow rest on the branches so delicately and beautifully.


Linear symmetry.


Les fleures.



Finished product. YUM.



Camille and I made delectable chocolate chip cookies from scratch.



Pretty plant, sunset in the background-- Camille's house!



The yummy fondu at Philip Carter with Stevo's momma. We were Valentine's.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

For the first time, I felt like an epic fail of a nurse this past Monday. It was my first day with three patients, two of which were total care (meaning everything under the sun has to be done for them), and the other of the three being scheduled to go for a cardiac cath-- this wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that upon their return, you have to take vitals every 15 minutes for the first hour, every 30 minutes for the next two hours and then every hour for the next four hours. Plus, she ended up having to pee like every 10 minutes, so because she wasn't allowed to get out of bed for 4-5 hours after the cath, I had to put her on a bed pan. My one total care pt had, among other meds, 4 IV meds due, all at 2 fucking pm. ALL. Not to mention more at 4pm, and more at 6pm. My other patient was also incontinent and insisted that she was in Alaska most of the day. She also had meds.

The meds aren't so bad, but when combined with short intervals of time in which to give them and complex patients needing various things at the same time, it's enough to drive one batty. I don't know how I would have been able to hold my head above water if my preceptor hadn't been there to help me out. We still left at 8:30pm that night. Ugh.

Despite all this, I still love being a nurse. I love my job and wouldn't trade it for anything. Knowing that I'm making a difference and taking good care of people (at least emotionally) makes the tough, crazy days all worth it. And there are lots of crazy days.

In other news, which the readers following this blog are already aware of, I am officially dating Jason. He is super, and from what I've gotten to know over the last month seems to possess all the qualities I seek in a partner. So, we'll see what happens! :)

I argued with a guy at the bar last night, and another friend today, about the status of the health care system and debate here in the U.S. They tried to convince me that "big government take-over" would be horrible and take away everyone's choice and blah blah blah communismscarystupidhearsaybullshit. I posted this link comparing Canada's and the States' health care systems on my Facebook page today. I read through it and checked out some of the references and it's pretty good stuff. I'm all about socialized health care. I strongly, STRONGLY believe that it should never be a business venture; rather, it should be a right of every single citizen, NO MATTER WHAT. Don't come to me with your "oh woe are the insurance companies, poor them." Poor them? They're stuffing money in their pockets on a daily basis and in increasing increments at the expense of their payers' health. Fuck them, they can go under for all I care.

That's about it for now. Picture post coming soon!

FINALLY.

Hopefully this will become the norm for the rest of the United States (and the world).


DC legalizes gay marriage!!

Here's your update, biatch!

Work is still going well! I'm up to two patients now, which is pretty good for only my third and fourth shifts. I'm learning to get into my own routine with my patients, seeing what works and what needs improvement in terms of time management and priorities. My attention to detail is good. I wish that I had more time to look up my patient's meds before I give them, though, but I suppose that's something I'll have to do at home. I've also been researching the common diseases/conditions that come to our unit in my spare time so that I can become familiar and assess for signs and symptoms that go along with them. My preceptor is this amazing woman from Nigeria. She's a brilliant, kind and gentle person and lets me do things on my own without hovering over my shoulder--she trusts me. She's also very entertaining with her little African catch phrases. She loves calling me "girl," which I believe is an affectionate phrase in Nigeria. :)

One of my favorite aspects about nursing is the connection I'm able to make with most of my patients. One patient I did not really connect that well with is a man who is just plain bitter, but understandably so. He's a bilateral below-the-knee amputee who has end stage renal failure and diabetes. He's only 50 years old. He is a drug seeker and asks for his dilaudid around the clock literally every three hours even though I can tell that his pain level is NOT a 10 out of 10 like he says it is. He's sitting there watching tv when he claims that he's in pain, so I know it's bullshit. However, I can understand why he wants to be doped up all the time. I would be too, if I were in his situation. The other point is, who cares? It's not like the pain meds are going to kill him, because his diabetes and renal failure will eventually do that. I say let him at least have what little satisfaction he can. So, I kept pushing his IV dilaudid and rubbing hydrocortisone cream on his skin, which made him feel at least a bit better.

My other patient yesterday was this sweet little 81 year old lady who is all about Jesus, but not in an annoying way. She is just a woman of very deep faith who believes that God is responsible for every little thing. She is super great about being knowledgeable about her health (she has CHF) and is very responsible and takes great care of herself. I really respect and admire that, because it makes my job so much easier, and her life better. So, I would help her walk to the bathroom and we would talk about the only "clean" tv shows left, which in her mind are Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune and Price is Right. :) We hugged when I discharged her yesterday and she said she would miss having me around.

Other than that, Jason and I have been hanging out (not obsessively, we've just gone on several dates). I REALLY enjoy his company, what a cool person he is. We have a lot in common, he's a gentleman, he's affectionate without being clingy, he's completely chill and totally confident enough to the point where I can talk all I want about Steve or any other past relationships, or flirt with my guy friends, and he doesn't give a rat's ass. I love that. I can't handle jealousy or possessiveness. So, I guess we're "seeing each other," whatever that means, and maybe it'll turn into something more. Who knows? I'm definitely enjoying myself right now.

In other news, I'm trying to stay up with my photography and yoga practice. Admittedly, my yoga has slacked a LOT in the last couple of months, partially due to getting a new job and that whole transition, but also because I've been lazy when I've had the opportunity to go. I need to kick myself in the ass and remember to prioritize.