Little, fat kids are the products of big, stupid parents.

Today I had the distinct pleasure of shoving two Q-tips down the fat throat of this shitty kid in the doctor's office. I would like to extend my personal thanks to his mother for sitting there like a passive bovine creature whilst I tried to convince her son that it would only take two seconds for me to get some bugs out of the back of his throat.

The opportunity was thus laid before me to place his round, greasy, chocolate-covered face into a head-lock, wait for him to open his mouth to yell at me to leave him be, then: BAM. Q-tips into the throat, thankyouverymuch. I always win in situations like these. Always.

Maybe this sounds a bit cold, as if I dislike little fat kids. No, I don't, I want to backhand their idiot parents for letting them chow down on lard and work their fat little thumbs over the video game controller buttons all day long. That is all.

Today was amusing.